Ha’anika Maleigh

“How are you?” is the question always asked. “I am FINE” is the response of a person who is feeling “Fragile.Inside.Never.Enough.” Sound familiar? Is this you? Was this you? Could this be the person next to you?

A few years ago I was down this road, my everyday response was “I am F.I.N.E”. People around me didn’t know what “FINE” meant, even I didn’t know what it meant to me, but I knew I didn’t say “I was good” or “I was at my best” or “I am better”. I allowed “F.I.N.E” to take over me. It cost me my peace, my savings, my mental health, my physical health and even the relationship with my family. Feeling “F.I.N.E” led me to the moment I am not proud of, the day I wanted to take my life. I felt fragile inside and never enough, I was depressed. Then and there I knew saying, “I am FINE” was a cover up for depression.

This is what depression sounds like:

FEAD97D8-0FD1-436D-8EC8-854A7E5BB97D

You may not see what someone is going through, but you could hear it after asking a simple question like “How are you?”. Make a difference in their life ask them “How can it be better?” Allow that person to hear themselves out loud and to realize that they can break free from “F.I.N.E”.

If your are this person telling yourself you are “F.I.N.E” evaluate you mental and physical health. Has something occurred so severe or traumatic that led you here today? There is a difference between feeling sad and being depressed.

Here are some signs and symptoms: 


  • Feelings of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness or hopelessness
  • Angry outbursts, irritability or frustration, even over small matters
  • Loss of interest or pleasure in most or all normal activities, such as sex, hobbies or sports
  • Sleep disturbances, including insomnia or sleeping too much
  • Tiredness and lack of energy, so even small tasks take extra effort
  • Reduced appetite and weight loss or increased cravings for food and weight gain
  • Anxiety, agitation or restlessness
  • Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements
  • Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, fixating on past failures or self-blame
  • Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things
  • Frequent or recurrent thoughts of death, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts or suicide
  • Unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches

You may not experience it all, but most signs are common to those who are going through depression. If this is you don’t be afraid to speak up, talk to a friend, a family member, a counselor or someone you can trust. Don’t get trapped in your thoughts there is always a way out!

Depression is NOT a weakness, living and recovering from depression takes a lot of personal strength!


Some great reading:

  • The Mayo Clinic: Guide to Stress- Free Living… By. AMIT SOOD, M.D.
  • Milk and Honey… By. RUPI KAUR 
  • Eat, Pray, Love… By. ELIZABETH GILBERT 
  • The Four Agreements… By. DON MIGUEL RUIZ 

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